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Home Breaking News THE SEX QUESTION - I envy my single friends, why?
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THE SEX QUESTION – I envy my single friends, why?

>> Is it normal to envy the freedom of your single friends when you yourself are in a relationship? In any case, this is what Abdel, a listener from Europe 1 who envies his single friends who are free to frolic, while he has been in a relationship for 5 years now. In “Sans Rendez-vous”, the sexologist and psychoanalyst Catherine Blanc explains that this feeling comes from the way Abdel lives his relationship. For the latter, he must first of all identify why he does not feel free, before knowing if he made a mistake by forming a couple. But beware, we often tend to idealize the situation that other people may experience, she warns.

Abdel’s question

“I have been with my girlfriend for five years and my friends tend to envy our situation because they have all been single for several years. But I am jealous of their freedom and their multiple partners. What do you think?”

Catherine Blanc’s response

We are always looking at what others are going through and we idealize it. Those who are alone measure the pain of not being able to sit quietly in a relationship, while people in a relationship see the freedoms that they have prevented themselves by being in a relationship. But what Abdel lives does not tell the reality of things so much as the way he experiences his relationship. We are not freer because we sleep with the whole earth! The question of freedom is intrinsic to oneself and is not linked to how one manages it within the framework of the couple or relations without a future.

With the Covid, is it harder to be single?

It is true that at this moment couples still represent a security, a bond of affection which has tended to disappear with the health crisis. A situation that makes celibacy even more complex, since the restrictive measures deprive them of gentleness, looks, love, etc.

Is there a concern in Abdel’s couple?

If his intention is particularly attracted to his friends of whom he is jealous, it is because there is something that does not work out in his relationship, in his sexuality with his partner. He must already identify why he does not feel free. If for him to be free it is to be able to sleep with the whole earth, he was little wrong in putting himself in a relationship. But maybe his girlfriend is watching him and suffocating him. In which case, when the cage closes there is only one obsession: it is the desire to escape.

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