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THE SEX QUESTION – Do couples have less love after the arrival of a child?

>> The arrival of a baby is a big upheaval in the life of a couple, a change that can creep into the bosom of the bedroom and disrupt intimate relationships. In “Sans Rendez-vous”, the sexologist and psychoanalyst Catherine Blanc returns to this “ordeal” experienced by all couples who generate life through the question of Jean-Claude, a listener. For the specialist, it is even fashionable to let a menstrual cycle pass before plunging back under the duvet.

Jean-Paul’s question

“I’ve heard that some couples hardly ever have sex again after having a first child. Is that true?”

Catherine Blanc’s response

We have to put things in context. After childbirth, a woman needs to reclaim her body. As long as a mother breastfeeds, she produces prostaglandins, an anti-erotic hormone as much as possible, since her goal is to ensure that the woman is completely devoted to her baby and that she does not have a child again so as not to not to risk a drying up of milk. But that’s not all: we must add to this the fatigue of the feedings every two hours which do not really leave the possibility of thinking of anything else. Not to mention that a mother’s wonder for her baby can make her forget her husband a little.

This situation can be quite delicate for a man, since nothing has changed from a hormonal point of view. But, her beauty being less available, this can sometimes lead to tension, even conflict. This being the case, the husband still has a great mission: to provide for the needs of his child as well. And often, new fathers are very professionally invested. A little crowded out of pregnancy and childbirth, this professional overinvestment not only redefines their power, but also provides for the needs of the newborn.

Is it important to schedule an appointment? Do you have to program a little routine?

Yes, you have to set up a little routine. Especially since the couple must talk to each other, since it is a real moment of trial. I also think that a mother needs her husband to help her separate from her child smoothly. A woman needs to be removed from her function and her duty as a mother from time to time. And for that, there must be all the love and all the kindness of her husband to help him. Otherwise, she is naturally doomed to her duty.

How long is sexual intercourse disrupted after the arrival of a child?

This varies depending on the women and whether they are breastfeeding. But I think letting an entire menstrual cycle go through is the least of it. It’s good for her, for her body and for her muscles. Because let’s not forget that making love is to do yourself good and you must have regained the tranquility of your feelings after the traumatic episode of childbirth.

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