The surprise difference can be ripping. In her thirties, Hanna Velling was left alone with a child and had to panic with fear states.
“My life the worst difference happened in the early 2000s when I was in my thirties. My then-spouse left me completely unexpectedly when our common child was very small. It was a real shock. On the other side, everything was planned, but I hadn’t known anything about it.
The difference felt like a bomb had fallen into our home. There was an outsider feeling, just like I was watching a movie. I was sure my spouse had gone crazy and played as a primitive reaction to his mother. In addition to the difference, it was heavy that in addition to the relationship, the new family we formed broke up.
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I applied to an occupational health doctor and got a short sick leave. The time after the divorce was the toughest in my life and even felt physical. I slept poorly and lost weight even though I tried to eat normally. The worst were the fear states. At night I wonder what will happen to the child if I get a seizure at night. I told the kindergarten that if we were not heard one morning, they would start calling after me. There was no real reason for my fear.
I stayed with our child for a while to live in our former home. It was being in a loose log. I found it very easy to move to a new home of my own, which I was able to put in and where I was able to do things that I liked myself.
The difficulty of the life phase was compounded by the fact that I became unemployed soon after the resignation. Having to take care of a small child all the time was heavy, but also salvation. It helped to stay caught up in everyday life, and grief could not be left to drool.
The counseling psychologist told me what you are crying for after a man like that. I took myself a bit of an attitude, then, that I am the brave, and I ruminant. In retrospect, however, I could have dealt with it more.
Best time helps to recover. According to one therapist, it takes three to five years to recover from a difference and that is true. That doesn’t mean I was unhappy and anxious all that time, but I was a single mother for many years. After about ten years, I started writing a fictional novel based on my experience Book catcher. It was cleansing.
The shock difference was such a tough experience that I didn’t wish it on anyone. Even now, as I speak, I can reach the emotional state I have experienced. But what doesn’t kill confirms, even if it’s a cliché. In hindsight, I think it was quite right that the relationship did not continue, even if it could have ended in another way. I am now in a better relationship.
Experience moved me so that I am no longer too kind and I consider it important to speak in my current new family. I learned that life is unpredictable. Anything can happen to anyone, but on the other hand, when that kind of thing comes out, it feels like it will survive from anywhere.
I urge the left to mourn in peace and to consider professional help as well. Once you’ve wrinkled enough, it’s important to know how to move forward. Yes life carries.
It is good for friends to listen and offer their help. If you feel that the other would need the right therapist, you can fairly suggest it. That, too, is the act of a friend. ”
Hanna Velling, kirjailia
Source site www.is.fi