Saana is engaged to her child’s father and in a relationship with another person. The idea of an open relationship eventually shifted towards polyamoria.
A 22-year-old working in the social and health sector Saana Ahola and his fiancé, a 24-year-old who earns his living as a process operator Samuel Laakko living on the surface of the normal life of a family with children in the metropolitan area.
In addition to them, the residents of the owner-occupied apartment include such a 4-year-old daughter Mikaela (name changed) as well as the Manta dog.
In addition to this, Saana has another partner separately. So she is engaged to her child’s father as well as in a relationship with another person.
– It’s a special arrangement, but it really works, Saana says.
Engaged Saana and Samuel have been dating since 2014. The rings were exchanged romantically a year later in Paris, where Mikaela also got its start, according to Saana.
– We had already talked to Samuel about the open relationship before Mikaela was born and went through the thoughts about it.
– The idea of an open relationship then shifted towards polyamoria.
In polyamoria, a person can have relationships with multiple sexual or romantic traits at the same time.
Read more: Swinging, polyamoria, interpersonal anarchism – Do you know the meanings of different forms of interpersonal relationships?
The two became three
At first, the idea of polyamoria seemed distant, but gradually it began to feel more and more interesting.
– Then in 2019 I found this type, and we fell in love, Saana says.
He says he arranged the first dates in Tinder Wiilowith a person named – to the playground so that he can see Mikaela at the same time.
– I wanted to play with open cards and be honest. Samuel also found out immediately about Wiilo and Wiilo Samuel.
Saana says that at first it was just fun, but surprisingly found that she was also in love.
Now the situation is that Wiilo spends a lot of time with them, often sleeps with them and helps with childcare.
– Samuel and Wiilo get along well. For example, if I go to yoga, they stay home together to do things.
Samuel confirms this.
– We get along really well with Wiilo.
Saana admits that at first the situation was for everyone to work on.
– Of course, jealousy is also present in some way in polyamorias. I remember how hard it was for Samuel, too, when Wiilo and I had the onset of admiration.
Samuel, for his part, says he never felt that the relationship between Saana and Wiilo was out of him.
– It hasn’t been heavy for me anywhere. I like to be a lot of myself and enjoy a variety of activities in my spare time.
Saana says Samuel also has permission to meet other people, but Samuel, who is dedicated to the sport, says he spends his limited free time on himself rather than looking for a club.
– Now I no longer experience a bad conscience when I do a lot of different sports, such as climbing, shooting and mountain biking. It makes it easier when I know that Saana is not alone at home caring for Mikaela, but she also has company and help.
Samuel still admits a little jealousy creeping up at some point. That, too, was more about the time Saana spent with Wiilo, not so much the sex between them.
Saana says she understands Samuel’s annoyance if she does spend a child-free weekend with Wiilo instead of Samuel.
Wiilo often spends nights with Saana and Samuel. There are several beds, and everyone sleeps, who anyway.
– Sometimes it’s a little cramped when Mikaelak goes to bed. Someone can then move to a different bed to sleep in the middle of the night, Samuel says.
Sex also from three
While Saana and Wiilo socialize with each other, they also have sex from three of them.
– In the past, I had sex separately with both, but now the situation is that we spend our time with the three of us to the extent that having sex feels natural together, Saana inches and defines herself as a pansex.
– I don’t feel that human sex matters to me.
Samuel, on the other hand, is not entirely sure of his own sexuality.
Both feel that having sex together further increases trust and affection, even though Samuel and Wiilo are not in a relationship with each other.
– I feel really safe and good to be at the moment. We have such unlimited trust in each other, Saana says and looks Samuel in the eyes like a newlywed.
Parents support, a friend broke the gap
Saana devotes herself to her support network, which includes both her and Samuel’s parents.
– When I told my mother about Wiilo and polyamoria, she was not surprised, rather happy for me. Likewise, my father and his female friend said they already knew about it, Saana laughs.
There are also people whose attitudes have changed.
– The behavior of one of my good friends towards me changed completely when I told him that I have another boyfriend. Eventually, he completely broke the gap.
– It hurts, because I am his child and he sponsored Mikaela sponsor.
Awareness of polyamoria and other alternative forms of relationships has increased. Still, a relationship between two people is considered constant.
This became clear to Saana when Mikaela went to kindergarten.
– I told the kindergarten about our situation and that the daughter can be picked up by any of the three of us. However, there was initially a message that it should be reported if the applicant is Wiilo instead of parents. I told you that Wiilo is my partner and that he can come apply without separate notices.
Eventually, the kindergarten staff got used to the fact that Wiilok also belongs to the family and regularly applies to Mikaela’s orchard.
“Everyday life is really smooth and flexible”
In the future, Saana will say that she will be excited about how Mikaela’s Schoolmates will treat her at school, when it turns out that there are basically two families instead of three.
The engaged couple has also been thinking about getting married. However, that doesn’t stop him from continuing to be in a relationship with Wiilo.
– We do not see marriage in the traditional sense, but rather as an economic and social issue.
There are enough good sides
There seem to be endless advantages when Saana lists the benefits of the situation.
– Three different adults, three cleaners, three people can apply from the shelter, everything is really smooth and flexible.
Polyamoria Saana doesn’t want to tease anyone, but encourages everyone to do things that feel good about themselves.
With his own story, he wants to give a face to polyamoria and break the stereotypes attached to it.
– There is no limit to love. The most important thing is that everyone is good to be in the situation. Maybe with this, people may find that anyone can be “poly”.
Source site www.is.fi