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Finns tell how shyness in childhood has affected them: “It has been very difficult to get over the idea that I would be worse than others because of shyness” – Family



“I have learned as a mother will find that the quieter my child has grown very prudent adult. He has always taken his own mental state, without making a fuss about it. ”

– Any talk about commenting on a child’s shyness must be left out.

Psychologist and temperament researcher Liisa Keltikangas-Järvinen recently gave instruction to parents and educators.

Keltinkangas-Järvinen pointed out that shyness has a negative stamp in our society. Because of the charged value settings, the child understands that something in him or her is worse than others. This does not strengthen self-confidence.

  • Read more: Psychologist tells you what a shy child should never say – and lists 9 things you should do

The article inspired many shy people to recall how they were treated as children. Many had the experience that shyness has been commented on in a nasty tone.

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One of the readers told how even her own mother commented on her shyness in a nasty tone.

– The mother barked like a swimmer, forced to meet the visiting adults and pick up a neighbor’s child unknown to her to play. It has been very difficult to get away with the idea that I would be worse than others because of shyness.

I was just horrified that my parents were patrolling the knees of unknown adults.

Another reader says he was depressed about shyness as a child many times.

– I was really horrified that my parents were patting the knees of unknown adults. It felt bad to me, and I couldn’t understand why my own parent was teasing me that way.

“At school, herd spirit is overrated,” the mother writes.­

Several readers reported that shyness was viewed negatively by outsiders, such as those in education.

– One teacher recently commented to me after the performance like this: “Well, maybe that calm is right for you, but I personally like a more energetic performance when it gets interested,” says one shy.

One mother tells how an attempt was made to put a shy child in the same mold as the others already in the shelter.

At the beginning of the test, I was told, “Oh, are you talking?”

– When he was younger in kindergarten, he heard a lot of mouth calls from kindergarten aunts, according to which the child must behave in a certain way. Herd spirit is also overrated at school.

One of the readers explains how he applied as a shy person for postgraduate studies. The group discussion went badly, as the idea went a different way with the others, and the shy applicant did not get a word of mouth.

At the beginning of the personal test, the professional pushed arrogant words.

– At the beginning of the test, I was told, “Oh, are you talking?”.

He got in despite this and completed in record speed.

Teacher: Shy people are pleasant students

Fortunately, there are always people in people who know how to appreciate all kinds of personalities.

Psychologist and personality researcher Liisa Keltikangas-Järvinen notes that a shy person can have good social skills, ie the ability to get along with others. A shy child is also rarely aggressive, disobedient, or cheeky. A shy child does not bully others.

“I myself was shy when I was little, but little by little I became bolder and bolder,” describes one reader.­

One teacher describes his experiences with the shy in this way.

– As a teacher, it must be said that shy children are very pleasant students. I often give recognition to a shy student on the last day of the school year. After all, they are also very often the best students in the class. Because of temperament alone, we teachers are not allowed to share confessions. The most talented student in the class is but often a shy introvert. This is how it is.

– Of course, there are also talented students in other temperaments, which we reward. But with my comment, I want to emphasize my deep respect for shy students as well.

Many shy people also say that although they have not always been accepted as they are, they have done just fine in life.

One mother now describes her adult child in this way.

– I’ve learned as a mother will find that the quieter my child has grown very prudent adult. He has always taken his own mental state without making a fuss about it. All the more I have learned to keep a valuable feature of the human body. He is not, and will not become, a loud herd soul.

I have learned as a mother will find that the quieter my child has grown very prudent adult.

According to Liisa Keltikangas-Järvinen, shyness does not need to be eliminated, but it would be good to teach a child the means by which a person would be able to function as an adult in social situations despite shyness.

In general, those who were shy as a child but who do not feel shy as an adult have received adequate support for their development.

One of the readers describes how life has changed.

– I was shy when I was little, but little by little I became bolder and bolder. I’m still pretty introverted, and I do not want to be in focus. Still, I will get along well with people and I have kept.



Source site www.is.fi

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