What to do when coronary burns strike and take away sex drive as you go? Psychologist Jaana Ojanen advises on how to deal with reluctance together with a partner.
Coronary fatigue weighs. The constant uncertainty of one’s own life and the reflection on the state of the world are exhausting.
Should I still be able to have sex here?
– Exhaustion takes away sexual desire, and it is quite normal, says the Population Alliance’s psychologist Jaana Ojanen.
Sex often requires mental and physical resources. Ojanen knows that for many exhausted people, it is an effort that requires effort.
On the other hand, someone may find sex restorative and sex can also be a source of resource, he recalls.
“Reluctance is sure to be transient if you recover from exhaustion”
In the midst of all the extra strain and fatigue, it’s not worth taking at least more pressure from having sex.
– I recommend relieving yourself of worries about reluctance. It will certainly be transient if you recover from exhaustion, Ojanen says.
The psychologist therefore urges you to listen to the symptoms of exhaustion and invest in your own recovery.
At the very beginning, you can try to reduce stressors and organize restorative moments, for example, on a working day holiday.
You should also pay attention to healthy eating and getting enough rest.
“If the body can’t, then the body can’t”
According to Ojanen, problems can arise in a relationship if the parties to the relationship have very different wishes.
– If one has desires and the other does not, it is good to take the matter up and think about what can be done about the situation so that the matter does not become a rubbing stone in the relationship.
Even if a willingness to be bedridden is found, being physically unbearable can be a barrier to favorite games.
– If the body cannot, then the body cannot.
If desires for intimacy could be found, but physically simply could not cope, it may be a good idea to invest in non-sexual intimacy in a relationship.
Exhaustion is often accompanied by a lot of emotional strain in addition to physical exertion, so a connection to another person can be very restorative, the psychologist says.
“No pressure on sex”
So how do you add intimacy to a relationship?
Ojanen suggests that an open conversation with a partner can relieve unnecessary pressure related to sex.
The threshold of letting one close is increasing if an exhausted party thinks the other is waiting for intimacy to automatically lead to sex. Therefore, it is worth clearly agreeing together to be close but not having sex.
Having sex together can be the first step in creating physical intimacy and contact.
– It is quite possible to agree with a partner not to take pressure from sex, this often relieves the mood.
Try these moments together with a partner:
The psychologist recommends doing various exercises with your partner where touch helps you relax.
Iron your partner gently
Massage is a classic way to increase intimacy between partners
Place both lying on the floor hand in hand or with body parts, such as hands or feet, touching each other. Breathe in peace.
If you want to add romance to your moment, you can try to awaken your body’s senses in a variety of ways.
Put relaxing music to play
You can try different room fragrances or essential massage oils or creams
Awaken the taste buds with various delicacies
Source site www.is.fi