Being left behind can trigger an experience of rejection, exacerbated by the feeling of losing control when decision-making has not been able to influence yourself.
Being unexpectedly abandoned is a big crisis for a person that makes them rethink both their past relationship and their own self. Population Therapy Psychologist, Psychotherapist Sirpa Pitkäniityn according to even a collapse is an understandable, immediate reaction to what has happened.
– Some are in really bad shape. They are not allowed to sleep or eat, Long Meadow describes.
According to him, the sudden, the difference between the other party suddenly declared to activate the human hylkäämiskokemuksen. It brings to the surface shock, confusion and disbelief. The situation is exacerbated by the feeling of losing control when a life-changing thing happens without being able to participate in decision-making yourself.
Coping can also be tested by practical issues such as childcare and housing. It is paramount to get support from other people.
– With good networks, people survive better, Pitkäniitty says.
Body alarm status
Professionals should be consulted at least if the bodily reactions activated by trauma, such as insomnia, continue. According to Pitkäniit, it is worth calming the body’s alert state by adding any pleasurable and soothing experiences, such as walks, massages and yoga.
– Every human being is a combination of mind and body. Today, it is known that the mind is first calmed through the body.
According to the experience of the long meadow, people end up leaving another suddenly in a perceived way for various reasons. Others have hidden from their partner how they really feel. Others, on the other hand, feel that they have been dissatisfied over the years.
– It is often assumed that one knows, but not in the long run, for example, the fact that one mentions once, a couple that they are dissatisfied with something, immediately means a difference to the other.
While the surprise difference is a brutal experience for the abandoned, in a crisis it would be important to be able to behave respectfully on both sides. Prolonged divorce undermines the well-being of all parties.
The likelihood of a sudden difference is reduced if both parties strive for transparency in the relationship and maintain a dialogue.
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